“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”
Isaiah 26:3 NLT

“A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life.”
Proverbs 13:7 MSG

Day 3 of 40: My life right now is pretty “plain and simple” but it doesn’t feel very full.

The driving principle of my life has changed over the years. BC – it was all about me… success, money. I can remember riding my motorcycle through Beverly Hills thinking “one day one of these houses will be mine.” At the time, I was out of work, a stranger in a strange land – Southern California.

AD – it was about bringing people into a living relationship with Christ. But it was also about “competence.”

My personality tests out as an INTJ (Myers Briggs) and people like me (there’s not a lot of us, only 1-2% of the population) value competence highly. We do not “suffer fools gladly” (2 Cor 11.19 KJV) And we do not make friends easily. We are “visionary leaders” – sometimes others catch the vision, and sometimes they don’t. We can accomplish great things, but we can also be pushy, driven, proud, stubborn and insensitive. Is it any wonder we don’t have huge Facebook followings?

We also learn from our mistakes, so that by the time I neared retirement… I was reasonably competent and the last couple of years of ministry were highly successful – as measured by changed lives and commitments to Christ.

But that was then and this is now. I’m retired and life has moved on. My life was never “pretentious and showy” (with one exception I can think of), nor has it ever been more “simple.” But I’m not feeling very fulfilled either.

That’s why I’m re-reading the Purpose Driven Life. I’m seeking that promised place of “perfect peace” for those who trust God. And writing this blog is an opportunity to process it all.

“I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” Isaiah 44:2 CEV

“Since the day you were born, I have carried you along. I will still be the same when you are old and gray, and I will take care of you. I created you. I will carry you and always keep you safe.” Isaiah 46.3-4 CEV

Day 2 of 40: Today’s reading gets real personal, real fast – because I am an unplanned, adopted child. Or… as one callous, insensitive, pro-abortion moron coined it… “an accident.” (But that’s a story for another time.)

Growing up, I never really felt that I fit into my adopted family… my birth origins were kept a family secret (even from me until I was 7 and a neighbor kid told me)… not to be shared outside the family. It was a source of embarrassment? shame? I don’t know what? Except… I kept quiet about it.

It wasn’t until I became a Christian that I had a sense of family identity and heritage. I was made in the image of God… and God knew me and shaped me even before I was born. My family tree included people like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob… Peter, James and John… Luther, Calvin, Knox. I was in good company.

My birth origins and daily life were all in God’s hands and I tried to live that out over the years as best I knew how… with a lot of grace thrown in.

But now it’s the “old and gray” part that I’m trying to understand. I’m not able to do the things I did before as I worked out God’s purpose for my life… so what now?

In Isaiah 46:3-4, God seems to be saying to me, “Don’t worry about it.” “I created you. I will carry you and always keep you safe.” I guess safety also includes purposeful living… even at my age.